AN HONEST CONFESSION

It was the winter of '99 when I first met you. I barely remember how we became friends and even fainter is the idea about it going to the next level. I started loving your company. Going back home after school, reflecting on how I did to earn you a smile and envisaging what tomorrow would bring for me.  When going school was tempting and staying at home was tedious.Like a restless creature I could not help but wait for the next morning to arrive.I remember how the school came to know about our togetherness and how teachers used to warn students about the worldly distractions.Together we watched the cliche 'Always Remember' turn into our class's anthem.
                               13 years down the line, I am sitting all alone in my room, contemplating on how different things could have been had that innocent heart been just a little more courageous. Two years of togetherness and I couldn't even buy the courage to speak my heart out.Thanks to my well wishers though, who have taken the trouble of locating you. They could succeed not far but at least to discover that you stay somewhere close to South Delhi. I extend my heartfelt thanks to you too for saving me from the mundane weekends. I've made several failing attempts since then,scanned faces like never before, impatiently awaited every single moment. I don't know what keeps me running, where this ray of hope comes from. All I know is that one day when all my dues are paid, my urge would be advocated in his court and that would bring an end to a decade long trial.

POCKET FULL OF SORROWS !!!

One Sunday morning I asked myself, ‘Why wasn’t God so particular in his choice when he created all of us’. Just like we have our father, mother, brothers and sisters in our family, why weren’t we blessed with a soul mate right from the very beginning? Well this thought struck me not before I had ample time, to spend my weekend at my 3BHK flat all alone. For the last five of them spent here I have explored that loneliness is no better than a chronic illness that kills you slowly but certainly. Perhaps it is the worst punishment that God could have ever imagined of. A man, in this world of billions of living creatures, cornered in his own world. No laughs, no fights, no one to talk to, that one readily accepts grief to defy loneliness.

I can feel the shift. I hardly enjoy playing games now, could barely spare out time to watch movies, no more fancy playing Rock songs. I remember how I used to crave for a game of Mario or for a ride on Lamborghini in the NFS Most Wanted. My weekdays are very eventful though.       I enjoy being in the office more, surrounded by people whom I’ve merely known for more than a month.  I complete my task; get back home, decently satisfied with my day’s work. It’s then when things starts churning up .You are forced to look at the other side of the coin. The side full of sorrows, disappointments, regrets and above all loneliness. It’s now when the importance of having a girl by your side comes into the picture. You come back home with no one to pamper you, no one to offer a cup of tea. You have a 48 hrs weekend ahead but no one to spend it with. You earn a handsome purse of money without any clue of spending it. You break down. Heart filled with grief and mind full of anxiety. You can weep no more, because you have exhausted every single drop in your eyes. It’s then when you realize that money for sure has its limits, and not everything, at least not happiness can be purchased.